Gross Movie Reviews #174
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009Gross Movie Reviews #174
By Tim Gross
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The Vampire Peeper of Greene County (DVD) – A no budget horror film from Bloodline Video that has made this film project part of their “Bad Movie Night Collectionâ€. A young so-called paranormal investigator is talked into investigating a vampire and the victims he is leaving behind in their small town. A dozen donuts cost more than this movie to produce, bad acting, not much blood, but its bad for a reason and I laughed and enjoyed the fuck out of the film. The filmmaker and company knew this wasn’t going to be Bram Stoker’s Dracula with Gary Oldman so they did the next best thing, make an entertaining independent film that friends and hardcore film fans will enjoy. I give the flick 2 stars and can be found at www.bloodlinevideo.com .
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Bark at the Moon: Scars (DVD) – From the mind of no budget filmmaker Matt Brassfield comes a tale of two friends Jerry and Taylor who must spend a night in the haunted woods to get into their local college frat house. The movie is fucking horrible but interesting because they choose to have a guy in a werewolf mask that resembles the mask for “Project: Metalbeast or the TV series Werewolf†kill all who enter the woods in the daylight half of the time. Who gives a fuck about the real werewolf legend we are going to have him kill in the day and night. But what helps you get through this movie is some of the funny ass dialogue that is used, which has you almost pissing yourself laughing, the mask, the wrestling guy in laser tag gear, and the possibility there could be another sequel. Which I forgot to tell you this supposedly the second installment in the “Bark of the Moon†series? Now this might not be the best independent film but it is one entertaining horror flick. I give it 2 ½ stars and can be found at www.bloodlinevideo.com .
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The Sadness (DVD) – Another no budget flick from the mind of Matt Brassfield about a serial killer who wears a fucking “WWE KANE†mask to cover his identity! AWESOME!!! Who gives a fuck what the rest of the independent movie is about! We have the first movie that has the balls to just have a guy going around killing people and college DJs while wearing a “WWE Kane†mask. This takes big balls people… Did ‘See No Evil’ do this, nooooo! You need to buy this no budget slasher flick just for the mere reason of the killer… But anyway if that doesn’t make you want to buy it, then maybe the acting will as it was the worst fucking acting I have seen in a film since my performance in “Severe Injuriesâ€! I give this extra packed DVD 2 ½ stars and can be found at www.bloodlinevideo.com .
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The Wolf Hunter (DVD) – A werewolf hunter has hands full in a small Ohio town where his girlfriend has been killed by werewolves and they seem to be hell bent on feeding on the town. A good amount of gore and short running time keep you interested in this $1.50 budgeted flick! Not the best werewolf flick but I’ve seen a lot worse? But what interest me the most was the two short films “Bark at the Moonâ€, from a very young director/actor Henrique Couto and the other short film “Last Man on Earth†which makes sense after you see the credits. I give the DVD 1 ½ stars and can be found at www.independentbmovie.com .
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Bad Friend (DVD) – A pretty decent horror flick about a college-aged guy who buys a zombie from an infomercial on TV to be his friend, since he strikes out with keeping friends or girlfriends. Zach and Jack are friends to the end until Zach the zombie begins eating everyone and Jack is running out of enemies for him to eat. It’s a great story that is surprisingly well filmed with no money. The film looks unbelievable and has buckets of blood that flows like water except the blood is most likely water and they never thicken it to look better on screen. The only other bad problem with the feature is its 90 minute running time. A lot of times 90 minutes is perfect but in this case it was 15 minutes too long as there is a lot of filler scenes especially in the last 40 minutes of the film that could have been trimmed away to make it a better film. But again this is a must own horror flick movie fans as a passionate filmmaker did a great job with nothing to give you something. I give the DVD 3 stars. The film was produced by Rottweiler Productions but sadly they do not have a website but possibly can be found at www.bloodlinevideo.com .
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The Mad (DVD) – An underrated horror flick that pokes fun at ‘mad cow disease’ without saying it and tainted meat turning some poor country folk into flesheaters chasing Billy Zane all over the countryside. This awesome flick has gallons of blood spilled and gets 3 stars from me.
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Banshee (DVD) – A so-so horror flick about the myth or legend of a creature that lives in the woods and looks to kill male victims. 30 years ago the banshee was picked up on the side of the road by some hippies and the banshee kills them but is caught in a car crash only to be unearthed in present time to begin killing again. I give it 1 ½ stars.
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Shivers (DVD) – One of the first films from the legendary director David Croenberg where a doctor performs an experiment on a young woman living a new apartment complex that involves a parasite that controls your sexual urges until you go crazy and kill! An underground horror film that doesn’t get talked about much but worth revisiting for its simple but effective story. I give it 3 stars.
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Scourge (DVD) – Another lower budget horror flick from Lionsgate Films about a man who was wrongly accused of murder in the late 1800s but the church knew he was infected with a demon-liked thing called the ‘Scourge’. The ‘Scourge’ was taken out of him and buried away until many years later under a church only to be disturbed in present day. When the ‘Scourge’ makes its way into the poor firefighter it begins its quest to suck the life of its host for the next six hours until it finds another killing them when its done. Wasn’t very entertaining, but has a good amount blood, but wastes too much time with the creature finding hosts than possibly fleshing out the story of the church knowing about it how they have demon exterminators on the payroll. I give the flick 1 ½ stars.
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Skull Heads (DVD) – Charles Band’s latest horror flick about a family who lives in a castle for many years and hand the castle down to the sons and daughters from their incest love over the years. Three people posing as movie producers and a director persuade their way into the castle only to be scouting it out for a heist they want to do the very next night. One problem is the family has a secret other than their incest love that their daughter is not sure she wants to be apart of. The secret happens to be these cool small demon-like creatures named “Skull Heads†that happens to protect the family and the castle. Charles Band did a wonderful job with the location, the unknown actors, and the new additions of the “Skull Heads†to the Full Moon family. Plus one of the unknown stars Robin Sydney who plays the daughter of the Aarkoff family played a delightful crazy teenager. The film is excellent and something Full Moon fanatics should be excited about for the future as I can see Charles Band using these new creature additions in future sequels. I give the film 3 stars and can be found at www.fullmoondirect.com .
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Charlie Bartlett (DVD) – Every once in awhile I get an itch to watch a mainstream film that looks interesting. Well, in-between watching countless independent horror films recently I decided to check out this flick. The film is about a 17 year old boy who is trying to fit into a new high school and fit in. Of course just like most films and most of us it’s not easy to fit in. Well, Charlie decides to talk to his bully and works out a deal with him to help sell his drugs that Charlie gets from every doctor he goes to because his mom feels he is depressed and needs help. The doctors write out drug scripts left and right for Charlie instead of just listening to his problems and try to work them so Charlie decides to set up shop inside the men’s school bathroom and hear kids problems then the bully gives them a certain amount drugs for a certain amount of money instantly making Charlie the popular kid. Meanwhile, the principal played by Robert Downey Jr. who doesn’t want to be the principal is interested in Charlie and what exactly he is doing. The movie is emotionally funny and entertaining and most likely can have almost anybody that watch it, relate too most of the things that happen to Charlie or other characters in the film. Most Hollywood shit anymore is uninteresting and a big pile of elephant crap but this movie is worth checking out if you want a break from horror for 100 minutes? I give the flick 3 ½ stars.
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Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.myspace.com/slasherfilmfan . Also you can purchase any of my five “Gross Movie Reviews†books at www.lulu.com or www.amazon.com You can also find other shit from me at www.bastardsofhorror.com and in the movie review section of the past issues of Ultra Violent magazine (www.uvmagazine.com). Remember folks always support your local independent movie theater, independent video store, and independent filmmakers! It will keep horror alive………
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