Gross Movie Reviews #159

Gross Movie Reviews #159

By Tim Gross

 

Let the Right One In (DVD) – A beautiful foreign horror film about a boy named Oskar and his new found friend Eli. Oskar lives in an apartment complex and pretty much has no friends and bullied a lot from time to time. One night Oskar goes outside to the playground to just be away to play and that is when he is greeted by a pale little girl named Eli who just happens to be a vampire. From there the two’s relationship grows and Oskar learns more and more about Eli and both eventually decide they cannot be apart. The movie is dramatic, beautiful, and bloody at times and downright one of the best vampire films I have ever seen. I give the film 4 stars.

 

Final Exam (DVD) – A relatively unknown slasher film from the 80s that has been recently released on DVD, by my now favorite company ‘Code Red Pictures’. Final exams are going on and a lot of the college populace has took upon them to play pranks on each other until the exams are over or until their friends are all killed one by one. A cool slasher film that tries to make you think you know the killer three minutes in and tries to throw you off with every kill. Not the best of the slashers but as always an entertaining one as I give it 2 stars.

 

The Wrestler (DVD) – Mickey Rourke stars as an old school wrestler whose heyday has passed him by and knows nothing else but wrestling. But as his body begins to breakdown and no healthcare, he is kicked out of his trailer; he tries to once again reconnect with family, and tries to settle down with an aging stripper played by the very beautiful and talented Marisa Tomei, he still cannot get away from wrestling no matter what it costs him in his life. This movie is a very sad film and a well done film because a lot of the events that happen to Rourke’s character ‘The Ram’ are very true even though one such billionaire Vince (WWE) McMahon refuses to face it. By the end of the film I almost tear up for Rourke’s character because myself and my best friend at one time use to cover local wrestling and came across men like ‘The Ram’ backstage and seen what the wrestling industry has done to them. For every Hogan or Flair there is 100 guys like ‘The Ram’ just trying to get through life by only knowing wrestling is their life! This film was not only a great film but its ashame that Hollywood shut it out of the Oscars. I give this perfect portrayed film of wrestler’s life on the road and after it 4 stars.

 

Equinox (VHS) – It’s the 70s, and four people go into the woods to meet a professor to get a book from him and have a picnic. One big problem they have to fight Satan! Very corny film, but worth a watch for a laugh. I give it 1 ½ stars.

 

Blood Freak (VHS) – An anti-drug film from the 70s about a ‘Elvis-looking’ biker who gets a job at a turkey farm and eats an experiment turkey and turns into a guy with a big bird head and kills people to drink their blood! Awesome trippy shit that you could never even think of… I give it 2 stars.

 

Killing Ariel (DVD) – An old man locked up in a nuthouse for unknown reasons is talking to his doctor and explains about how his parents murder/suicide went down and how years ago he meets a beautiful woman who he chooses to take to his old home one weekend for an affair until a demon he seen during his childhood shows up and he continues to kill it over and over and over. A bizarre and a little twisted film about the power of a sex demon. It is an excellent watch and can be found at www.mtivideo.com as I give it 3 stars.

 

Aspiring Psychopath (DVD) – A very talky dramatic thriller about a beautiful twenty something woman who wants to become a serial killer as she studies her victims and another serial killer she captures. I’m not surprised to see more films like this with the popularity of the Showtime series “Dexter”. This very low budget flick has its share of blood and a very interesting storyline but the lead character constantly explaining everything is a little annoying but seems necessary to move the film along to its very climatic ending. Not the best of the independent horror in 2009 but definitely something different and something that’s hard to pull off with a very low budget as I give it 2 ½ stars and can be found at www.srscinema.com .

 

Dirty Cop No Donut (DVD) – A cop thinks he knows justice as he pulls over a drunk driver, harasses a convenience store clerk, barges in on a drug dealer, and breaks up a teenager’s party only to satisfy his needs in what he considers justice in his eyes and being filmed and documented until he is arrested by a real officer of the law. “Dirty Cop No Donut” is a film you know what you are going to get in the first 90 seconds and just become an “Anti-COPS” episode. The DVD has extras such as a commentary and a short film sequel if interested but consider me uninterested as I give it 1 star and can be found at www.srscinema.com .

 

Killer Party (VHS) – Its 1986 and the hair is big, music videos are big, and sorority pledges are going to be initiated at a haunted fraternity that closed down over twenty years ago because a death of a pledge.  The story goes that the house is haunted by the pledge that died during a pledge party and he happened to be into the occult and would seek revenge after his death. Well three college girls pledge to a sorority and happen to make the sorority only to have a party at the infamous haunted house and be killed off by possessed college mates. Strangely enough the film never quite explains who exactly killed off the den mother of the sorority and Paul Bartel’s character early in the film. College pranks, sorority sisters getting initiated, a little 80s T&A, a high body count, and an ending that doesn’t quite make sense…. Brilliant!!! This great slasher film has yet to see the light of day on DVD and I’ve been told it might never because of rights issues but horror fans keep your fingers crossed that MGM might release this title again. One strange fact about this movie and my books: “Killer Party” was actually one of the first reviews I ever written but one reason or another got lost in the shuffle of editing. I give this great slasher flick 3 stars and the soundtrack for the film is just hilarious!

 

Star Trek (Theater) – Captain James T. Kirk has been killed off in the movie series. The New Generation took over the last few sequels with not as much fanfare as the originals and Paramount Studios like all of Hollywood studios don’t want to take a chance with aging or a dying cast of original TV show or films, or trying to further the movie series with cult TV series follow ups such as Voyager or Deep Space Nine. What do they do? How about a reboot or sequel or both with the guidance of an original character played by Leonard Nimoy? Interesting… This film is mostly about how Kirk and Spock and the rest of the original U.S.S. Enterprise crew met at Starfleet and what brought them together only to be able to change what the future might be. What? Without trying to give too much away, if you are a fan of the films and their sequels you will most likely be a fan of this latest prequel/sequel that has opened the door for not only another new generation of fans but to further the adventures of a young Kirk, Spock, Bones, and others in future films. Or just take it as the usual fun summer mindless entertainment? I think unlike most recent reboots or remakes the new Star Trek does not insult what came before it and celebrates what the original characters gave us. It’s no Wrath of Khan… but far from being the horrible Final Frontier. Also look for cool genre actors Karl Urban and Simon Pegg get their chance in a huge Hollywood summer movie. And comic book store geeks cool your jets. Give the new Trek a chance as I give the very slick new Trek film 3 stars.

 

Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.myspace.com/slasherfilmfan . Also you can purchase any of my three horror movie review books, “Gross Movie Reviews Volume One, Two, or Three” at www.lulu.com or www.amazon.com  You can also find other shit from me at www.bastardsofhorror.com and in the movie review section of the past issues of Ultra Violent magazine (www.uvmagazine.com). Remember folks if you are renting from Blockbuster you are not renting from the best! Support your local independent video store! It will keep horror alive………

 

 

 

If interested in purchasing a copy of my books, the lulu.com links:

 

Volume Three

http://www.lulu.com/content/2497428

 

Volume Two Red Cover

http://www.lulu.com/content/738100

 

Volume Two Alternate (black) Cover

http://www.lulu.com/content/751465

 

Volume One

http://www.lulu.com/content/265208

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